On Marriage

I have been married three times. The first mariage lasted 3 years, the second 5 and the third 30. Today, after spending 30 years together, my husband and I have a loving, strong and healthy marriage.

During these past 30 years not every thing has been sweet, we have had many times when life was a rollercoaster but together we learned how to work things out. I have discovered that the essence of true love is communication, being present for each other in good and bad times and most importantly, RESPECT.

There are several stages in love life. In the first stage when we first fall in love romance takes us like a storm. We see life painted with the colours of the rainbow, we don’t seem to get enough sex in the 24 hours of a day, we spend most of the time walking on air with our heads in the clouds. It’s really awesome falling in love and knowing you are loved back. Depending on how well you both know each other, this stage could last years.

Then the couple gets married, buy

a house, decide to start a family and life takes a different turn. There are disagreements, it’s not just the two of you anymore, there is a child or two. You have become a family with responsibilities, many expenses, both working full-time jobs to make ends meet and stress takes over your life. Stress can kill not only a person but also a relationship.

At this point we may need therapy to cope with the issues, lots and lots of patience, exceptional communication to deal with all the problems because this is the true test of love. To me this is the second stage of love. If you want to succeed, you keep trying and don’t give up.

After the kids graduate from college and leave the nest, we are already on the third and last stage of love which is the deepest and most fulfilling achievement. And the love is gentle, filled with kindness, generosity and peace. It is a wondrous love.

My gratitude is immense because I am blessed with this wonderful relationship.

And if you fail on your first or second attempts, don’t get discouraged! It took both of us two previous marriages to make this one work.