This is another life story that helped me grow tremendously.
My second daughter was born weighing 2 pounds, when I was only 26 weeks pregnant. She was born by C-section and kept at the NICU until her due date, 3 months later. During those 3 months she was connected to a respirator and fed through a tube from her nose to her stomach.
I prayed and prayed to God not to take her from me. This was my last chance to become a mother again (I had already lost 2 pregnancies) and my 9 year old was ecstatic waiting the arrival of her new sister. Sadly many of the preemies died within hours of being born. In 1988 medicine was not as advanced as it is today.
But because miracles happen and God hears our prayers, she not only survived the ordeal, but today is a healthy 29 year old young woman filled with vitality. Believe! God is good.
There are always lessons to be learned from bad situations. This stage of life helped me tremendously in my spiritual growth. As I have mentioned before, suffering has a lot to do in our search for God. Prayer is powerful.
When amid the darkness of life we try to find hope and make ourselves believe that on the other side of this “living hell” there is a bright light, we survive.
There is lot of help out there: psychologist, social workers, psychotherapy, medications, treatments which sometimes may take years to work, but if we reach out to others we will normally get out of the mess. Do not keep your dark feelings to yourself. Ask. Search. Talk to friends or relatives. Do something but please, DO NOT keep the evil thoughts of darkness to yourself. Share your feelings. And never give up. Try over and over. This is a life worth living and you were born to leave this world a better place.
Something that has helped me is to live in the moment. It took many years of practicing mindfulness and meditation to arrive a this point and I know i still have a lot to learn. I am not even close to where I would like to be, and I get frustrated and angry and pissed off, but I persist and each day I grow a bit more. Step by step, moment by moment. This blog is one step forward, releasing my inner feelings.
It’s a long journey to arrive to the place of total inner peace, but if we continue to search, someday we will get there. I hope you will join me. Let’s keep trying…